|
|
|
It was a cold winter day. The
leaves were already off the trees and it was pouring
rain. It looked pretty dismal. I am the mother of
three boys and one girl, Teresa, One son older then
her and two younger brothers, Bobby and Richard.
Teresa was married and the mother of Laura Beth, who
was four years old and Matthew, who was eight. That
cold dismal day was the day our lives all changed.
It’s funny how it becomes a domino! Friend and
family, everyone who cares and loves their life is
never quite the same. Teresa was in the shower and
felt a lump. She was going to the doctor that
afternoon for results of a biopsy. She was going to
call me when she returned. I decided to make the
hour and a half trip to be there when she got home,
just in case something went wrong, and it did. It
was Malignant! My beautiful young daughter had
breast cancer! I cannot tell anyone what we were
feeling; disbelief, shock, anger, all of the above.
But I had to be reassuring for my daughter. I said
all the right things, it was caught early, and it
was going to be chronic like diabetes, heart
disease. She would be fine!! Inside, I was
heartsick!! She went to the hospital and had a
lumpectomy and the day she came home, that evening,
I had a heart attack!! Teresa got in the ambulance
with me and there we were both in bed at St Francis
hospital!!! Who knew!!! Do the Day! |
|
I was crossing the street in a town
I had never been in before in my life. In another
state. I and my family moved in the night before. Early the next morning, I went out
to get coffee and rolls and buns for breakfast. My
car was parked on a corner. As I turned toward the
back of the car to go into the driver’s side, I
heard someone call me. It was a gentle sweet voice,
that probably only I could hear. A voice said
“Ginger.” I looked up immediately to see who was
calling me, and there was a car, coming right at me!
I stepped back as the car swerved in front of me!!
Had I not been listening, or been one-step and one
second closer, I would have been killed! I turned
to see and thank who was calling me – and no one was
there, nobody!
Who was that, who had just saved my life!!! Do
the Day! |
|
Now it is fourteen years later. It
has invaded Teresa’s hip twice, her lung, her bones,
her pelvis, and her liver. She is stage IV. In the
beginning I would tell her, while waiting for test
results, Teresa we are just going to have to hold
our breath for a while, until we get the results! So
we sat almost paralyzed day after day, waiting for
the phone to ring, doing perfunctory things, but,
still holding our breath and waiting!! That was so
wrong!! What was I thinking!! What sense did that
make!!! Supposing the news was good! We wasted all
that time waiting!! I, we, made the decision. Those
days were over!! We weren’t going to wait any more!!
We would deal with it, as best we could but we were
not going to give it power!! We were going to move
on with our lives, in spite of everything and what
ever it was, we would deal with at that time, we
would deal with good or not so good, or otherwise.
We would move past it and just keep moving and from
then on, we learned that we didn’t possess all the
power we thought we had, so we would just think
positive and Do the day. Who can tell what and if
there will be a tomorrow. It was a Friday evening,
when I left Arizona where I lived part time. My
family, Teresa and John her husband, met me at the
airport. I was so happy to see Teresa and my
grandchildren! I hadn’t seen them in six months. It
was early in September, a beautiful day, still warm
and balmy. We woke up early Saturday morning. It was
Labor Day weekend. Everybody had breakfast and then
sat by the pool for the rest of the day. Swam and
did nothing. A great day with my children and grand
children! Later in the day, we had a barbeque with
lots of friends and family! It was a perfect day. No
one talked about what was coming the following
Monday. Cancer had again invaded another part of
Teresa’s little body. She was scheduled for surgery
at Sloan Kettering that Monday morning. Later on
during the evening I decided to drive to the Pocono
Mountains where I have a home, to gather some
clothes together because the weather report said the
weather was going to get cold and I needed warmer
clothes than I had brought from Arizona. Everybody
at Teresa’s tried to talk me out of it!! It was
late. Was I crazy! I wouldn’t get there until
midnight and then had to turn around the next
morning to go with Teresa to the hospital! No matter
what anyone said, I didn’t listen; they were talking
to s deaf ear. I would be back the next morning and
be there to go to Sloan with Teresa! I hugged and
kissed everybody and said I would see them in the
morning and that I would stop at the bakery on the
way back and bring stuff for breakfast. It was a
lovely ride home to the Poconos. It was just before
the sun was beginning to set and the mountains with
the sun setting behind them were spectacular!! It
took about an hour and a half to get home and I
loved the ride. Once you got into Pennsylvania every
thing changed! It was country-winding road, with
farmhouses scattered here and there. And big old
barns that probably hadn’t been used since the turn
of the last century! I drove into my circular dirt
driveway and could hear the crickets that I hadn’t
heard in I don’t remember when. It was peaceful,
quiet, serene, beautiful, secluded, surrounded by
beautiful trees, my home in the Pocono Mountains!!
That is until I unlocked the door and walked in!!!
My peaceful serene life was about to change, again!!
The phone was ringing and I was having trouble
turning the key to open the door. As I ran to answer
the phone I thought, it’s probably my kids calling
to see if I were home safe and sound. They treated
me sometimes like they were the mother and I was the
child!! It was not!! It was a call from Arizona. I
have many friends in Arizona. I also have two
relatives, my son Billy and my brother, with the
same name, Bill. On the phone was my friend Lou. His
first question - are you alone? I knew something was
very wrong!! I said, “ yes I am, so what tell me,
what is it??? What’s wrong?? Tell me please?? Is it
my son or my brother?” He answered, “Yes, it was my
son!” My next question was, “ Is he DEAD?? Answer:
“No”. He then handed the phone to a doctor. I will
never forget the doctor’s words for the rest of my
life!! “ Ms Reed, I am so sorry to have to inform
you that your son has just suffered a massive heart
attack and we really don’t think he is going to last
the night!! We can’t do surgery because he is not
stable enough and if he can hold on then maybe there
is a slight chance. But it looks very grave.” My
son!! My first-born!! No, No, it can’t be!!! I
screamed and screamed and cried and cried, it can
be!! Not my son!!! Dear God No!!! My sons and Teresa
already knew. The call went there first, thinking I
was there!! The door opened while I was on the phone
- my neighbors were there to tell me my sons were on
their way to the Pocono’s to try to comfort me.
After that everything was a blur! I was on a plane
at 6am on my way back to Arizona and landed at 11:am
that Sunday morning!! My friends and brother took me
to the hospital directly and there was my son in
intensive care hooked up to a ventilator struggling!
I could not believe my eyes!! My son!! My son!!!
This cant be!! He opened his eyes, he saw me!! He
was muttering something!! I could hardly hear him!!
I put my ear to his face so I could hear what he was
trying to say. He struggled to speak, he said, “ why
are you here??? Why aren’t you with my little
sister?? “ Then his eyes closed!! I sat there and
cried! How could I answer that!!! There was NO
answer!! I sat there on a chair through the night as
doctors and nurses went in and out of his room. As
my son was struggling to breathe and struggling to
live!! It was ten o’clock the next morning, Monday.
My cell phone rang. I burst into uncontrollable
tears!! The nurses and doctors rushed into the room
to see what was wrong I was hysterical! I could not
speak, I could only cry!! On they other end of the
phone was my daughter Teresa being wheeled into a
very serious intense surgery for cancer. She was
calling me to find out how her brother was and to
say goodbye Mom, don’t worry about me, just take
care of Billy!! I had two kids with terminal
illnesses at the same time!! It’s not right!! It not
fair!! I cried and cried!! The doctors and nurses
brought me into a room and they were in and out all
day!! Doctors nurses caseworkers; there was no
consoling me. I was living their worst nightmare!!!
My daughter Teresa and my son Billy were both in
surgery, with critical illness at the same time 2800
miles away from each other and I could only be with
one!!
I had started my day, sitting at Teresa my
daughter’s pool in New Jersey; it was a bright sunny
day, playing with my grand children!!
After situations like this came in to my life, I
finally learned that there is a power greater than
we mere mortals, we don’t have the power we think we
have, what we have maybe, is now¦.
Do the Day!! |
|
Teresa’s marriage was going sour.
Too many years of fighting this disease took its
toll. For whatever the reason, it was time.
Unfortunately for Teresa, where was she going to
go?? How was she going to support herself? On her
chemo days, who would help to take care of her, if
she needed help? She also needed help on her off
days from chemo.
I could not leave the West coast. Teresa was on
the East coast. We decided what would be best for
Teresa would be for her to come here. She did. I had
a one-bedroom condo that was empty and Teresa
decided that she would go there. It was close by my
place, so I could be with her. I felt bad for her;
she had friends, other family members, support
groups, plus her yoga practice and yoga friends. In
all of this, she had become a certified yoga
instructor. Not only did she go to classes, she gave
classes back east.
The situation with her husband was not good and
it was just too stressful for her. Especially after
being married for twenty-six years. There were times
when she cried a lot. I was helpless!! I could help
her physically to be more comfortable, but there
wasn’t much that I could do to help her through this
complete change in her life! So her days were
different here. She read a lot, when she could
concentrate, and she sat by the pool. We shopped.
All very quiet relaxing times. It was okay.
One evening, I took Teresa to a yoga class with
me. I introduced her to my wonderful young yoga
instructor, Frank. Before you knew it, Teresa was
helping him with his class. Frank introduced her to
some people in the class. One of the people he
introduced her to was not able to take his eyes off
of her. Time went by class after class, and then yet
another, on Super Bowl Sunday. At the end of the
class there is a pose called Shavasana; that’s when
our yoga blankets go on and we relax, meditate for
the last few minutes of the class. I was just
getting ready to settle in when Frank motioned to me
to turn around. As I turned Frank and I looked at
each other and tears welled up in our eyes when we
saw this wonderful human being covering Teresa with
her blanket. Frank invited both of them and a few
other people to his home for dinner. There it was!!
Mr. Wonderful had lost his wife a few years back,
after a long illness. He was a devoted husband and
father and after his wife passed away, he was very
sad, having been married for so many years!! Then he
met Teresa!!!
I don’t have to worry about my daughter any
more!! I know that she is loved and adored by one of
the sweetest finest caring men that God has put on
this earth!! He takes her to chemo; he takes
excellent care of her after chemo and when she is
feeling well enough, he takes her traveling!! They
cook together they laugh together they love together
and they are blessed and very happy. You may think
or say, but why Teresa!!! Stage four cancer!!! Why
not Teresa!! We don’t have contracts and we are all
terminal!! All of us!! What we all have however is
today so - Do the day!!
You just never really know how that day is going
to go!!! Do the day!! |
|